Right, that's it then. All done and off on the waterways for a bit. Tigger and Eeyore are messing about in boats (Wind in the Willows meets House at Pooh Corner, see?) More later.
Sunday, 13 July 2008
Saturday, 12 July 2008
The Starfish Story
Just had a fantastic week of activities and worship in church; lots of kids from the school, adult workshops, all sorts. We had exhibitions, painting, children’s activities; I did a Myers Briggs and Spirituality workshop, and a rather amazing evening workshop and meditation using Sacred Posture body prayer. Lots of people came from all over the place. At the end, one of them gave me a copy of this story:
While walking the beach, a man saw someone in the distance leaning down, picking something up and throwing it into the sea.
As he came closer, he saw thousands of starfish the tide had thrown onto the beach. Unable to return to the ocean during low tide, the starfish were dying. He observed a young boy picking up the starfish one by one and throwing them back into the ocean.
After watching the seemingly futile effort, the observer said, "There must be thousands of starfish on this beach. It would be impossible for you to save all of them. There are simply too many. You can't possibly make a difference."
The young boy smiled as he picked up another starfish and tossed it back into the ocean. "It made a difference to that one," he replied.
The hand-written note at the end said “I am that starfish!”
While walking the beach, a man saw someone in the distance leaning down, picking something up and throwing it into the sea.
As he came closer, he saw thousands of starfish the tide had thrown onto the beach. Unable to return to the ocean during low tide, the starfish were dying. He observed a young boy picking up the starfish one by one and throwing them back into the ocean.
After watching the seemingly futile effort, the observer said, "There must be thousands of starfish on this beach. It would be impossible for you to save all of them. There are simply too many. You can't possibly make a difference."
The young boy smiled as he picked up another starfish and tossed it back into the ocean. "It made a difference to that one," he replied.
The hand-written note at the end said “I am that starfish!”
Monday, 7 July 2008
Why we still need Anglicans
Here’s more from the wonderful article by Will Hutton in the Observer this weekend. I have long since given up reading the Church press - my faith is not strong enough – but I do enjoy reading what others have to say about us. Very often they can see things that we on the inside have missed or forgotten. Hutton goes right to the heart of the tragedy of the present conflicts in Anglicanism, and explains why our inclusive liberal approach is essential, not necessarily for the Church, but for the nation and the world. Look at this:
“The genius of the Church of England is that because it is the official church it has to include the universe of all the English - Christian, agnostic and atheist of whatever sexual orientation. It represents the cultural heartbeat of the country, and as the country has become more progressive so has it. This is not just a precious institution at individual moments of crisis. Anglican priests are bulwarks for a cluster of values - tolerance, mutual respect, kindness, altruism, redemption - wherever they go in the communities they serve. I've never met one I did not respect enormously. In some social housing estates they are the only decent non-official figures people encounter. And even if God is only a hypothesis, it is crucially important that the country's leading religious institution is liberal.
(Rowan) Williams … has a greater responsibility to the genius of Anglicanism - its capacity to reconcile Christian faith with the lived lives of the English and in so doing transmute religion into a powerful liberal, rather than reactionary, force.
… The Anglican church moved with the sexual times in the 16th century, founded to free English kings from papal bans on whom they married, loved and divorced. It is moving with the sexual times in the 21st century by preparing to ordain gay priests and women bishops.
… And the liberal English, whatever divine hypothesis they favour, should not allow Williams to fight alone. If we don't want bigots running our liberal church, we'd better show it more support. One step might be to turn up for the odd service.”
Terrific! Thanks Will.
“The genius of the Church of England is that because it is the official church it has to include the universe of all the English - Christian, agnostic and atheist of whatever sexual orientation. It represents the cultural heartbeat of the country, and as the country has become more progressive so has it. This is not just a precious institution at individual moments of crisis. Anglican priests are bulwarks for a cluster of values - tolerance, mutual respect, kindness, altruism, redemption - wherever they go in the communities they serve. I've never met one I did not respect enormously. In some social housing estates they are the only decent non-official figures people encounter. And even if God is only a hypothesis, it is crucially important that the country's leading religious institution is liberal.
(Rowan) Williams … has a greater responsibility to the genius of Anglicanism - its capacity to reconcile Christian faith with the lived lives of the English and in so doing transmute religion into a powerful liberal, rather than reactionary, force.
… The Anglican church moved with the sexual times in the 16th century, founded to free English kings from papal bans on whom they married, loved and divorced. It is moving with the sexual times in the 21st century by preparing to ordain gay priests and women bishops.
… And the liberal English, whatever divine hypothesis they favour, should not allow Williams to fight alone. If we don't want bigots running our liberal church, we'd better show it more support. One step might be to turn up for the odd service.”
Terrific! Thanks Will.
Why I don't read much theology
“'Let's at least agree on one thing, God is a hypothesis.' That's what one of my professors used to say. 'Your hypothesis may be different from mine, but if you insist it is superior because you have a better line to God than me, it leads to nothing but bitterness, rancour and even war. The best course is mutual toleration - live and let live.' But then, Jonathan is an Anglican.”
(Will Hutton: The Observer 6 July 2008)
I’ve just read two books that would appear on the face of it to be coming from opposite directions, but actually have far more in common than either author would wish to have pointed out. Stephen Cottrell is the Anglican Bishop of Reading, one of the new breed of “Call me Steve” types, I guess (why are they always called Steve?). His book is “Do nothing to Change your Life”. The cover, the marketing, and the chapter headings seek to catch the zeitgeist of the slow movement, and books that I have mentioned on the blog before, such as Carl Honore and Tom Hodgkinson. “A joyous affirmation of life for anyone feeling exhausted” it says in the blurb on the front, and “Discovering what happens when you stop”. It opens with some unlikely premises that you are supposed to swallow, like a bishop who can decide to lay in bed until eleven in the morning, and perhaps encourage his clergy to do the same occasionally. “We need to stop imagining everything is so urgent. We need to nurture our inner slob”, it says in the blurb on the back. Do you believe that? I thought not.
“The Form of Things”, by AC Grayling, promises “Essays on Life Ideas and Liberty in the 21st century”. Indeed the first, third and fourth sections are exactly that; witty and perceptive, thought-provoking, gentle, generous. He writes on fashion, beauty, colour, dance. Towards the end he writes well on civil liberties, terrorism and human rights. So far, so good. But in the middle section called “Polemics”, rather sadly, we get a gloves-off attack on religion, in the manner of Dawkins and his disciples. Why? Why could Grayling not be generous here too, and at least accept that here we have two hypotheses on which we are not going to agree, alongside a great deal about which humanists, atheists, scientists and believers will want to agree wholeheartedly?
And it is here that we find the common ground between the two books, for Cottrell’s work is in fact, at heart, an evangelical tract, dressed up in modern clothes, just as Grayling is, at least in part, writing an atheist tract. The core of the book, in chapter five, is “the strange story of Jesus of Nazareth, and the incredible claims Christians make about him”. This is what Cottrell set out to deliver, and the rest of the book, before and after this story, is gift wrapping to help to get it off the shelves.
What a pity. Both books could have been so much better. I found neither book honest about its intentions, and therefore both books, while containing many good things, ultimately disappointing.
(Will Hutton: The Observer 6 July 2008)
I’ve just read two books that would appear on the face of it to be coming from opposite directions, but actually have far more in common than either author would wish to have pointed out. Stephen Cottrell is the Anglican Bishop of Reading, one of the new breed of “Call me Steve” types, I guess (why are they always called Steve?). His book is “Do nothing to Change your Life”. The cover, the marketing, and the chapter headings seek to catch the zeitgeist of the slow movement, and books that I have mentioned on the blog before, such as Carl Honore and Tom Hodgkinson. “A joyous affirmation of life for anyone feeling exhausted” it says in the blurb on the front, and “Discovering what happens when you stop”. It opens with some unlikely premises that you are supposed to swallow, like a bishop who can decide to lay in bed until eleven in the morning, and perhaps encourage his clergy to do the same occasionally. “We need to stop imagining everything is so urgent. We need to nurture our inner slob”, it says in the blurb on the back. Do you believe that? I thought not.
“The Form of Things”, by AC Grayling, promises “Essays on Life Ideas and Liberty in the 21st century”. Indeed the first, third and fourth sections are exactly that; witty and perceptive, thought-provoking, gentle, generous. He writes on fashion, beauty, colour, dance. Towards the end he writes well on civil liberties, terrorism and human rights. So far, so good. But in the middle section called “Polemics”, rather sadly, we get a gloves-off attack on religion, in the manner of Dawkins and his disciples. Why? Why could Grayling not be generous here too, and at least accept that here we have two hypotheses on which we are not going to agree, alongside a great deal about which humanists, atheists, scientists and believers will want to agree wholeheartedly?
And it is here that we find the common ground between the two books, for Cottrell’s work is in fact, at heart, an evangelical tract, dressed up in modern clothes, just as Grayling is, at least in part, writing an atheist tract. The core of the book, in chapter five, is “the strange story of Jesus of Nazareth, and the incredible claims Christians make about him”. This is what Cottrell set out to deliver, and the rest of the book, before and after this story, is gift wrapping to help to get it off the shelves.
What a pity. Both books could have been so much better. I found neither book honest about its intentions, and therefore both books, while containing many good things, ultimately disappointing.
Why I still read the papers
I get fed up with reading newspapers and wonder why I still bother. Then an issue comes along that knocks my socks off, with so much stuff that I might as well have personally ordered to be written, so relevant and interesting is it. The Guardian Review last Saturday was one such issue. A real page-turner.
The main article was on “The Art of Texting” by David Crystal, with Will Self and Lynn Truss. Really good stuff about this research that shows that texting has not led to the decline of the language, the end of spelling, or anything like that. In fact, text language is just a process that’s been going on since the first use of “IOU” in 1618.
Over the page, and Martin Amis and the trouble with God; a review of the Sixties Unplugged by Gerard DeGroot (Wilson was a great PM; yes!). It gets better; Anne Enright on writing on page 15, plus ten of the best Last Sentences, including Laurence Sterne’s “A Sentimental Journey”; Lives and Letters on page 21 has Geoffrey Moorhouse’s account of a visit from Janet Frame, and John Crace’s Digested Classic is Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness”. How good is all that? Well I enjoyed it, anyway. Worth the £1.50 just for the Review, I reckon.
The main article was on “The Art of Texting” by David Crystal, with Will Self and Lynn Truss. Really good stuff about this research that shows that texting has not led to the decline of the language, the end of spelling, or anything like that. In fact, text language is just a process that’s been going on since the first use of “IOU” in 1618.
Over the page, and Martin Amis and the trouble with God; a review of the Sixties Unplugged by Gerard DeGroot (Wilson was a great PM; yes!). It gets better; Anne Enright on writing on page 15, plus ten of the best Last Sentences, including Laurence Sterne’s “A Sentimental Journey”; Lives and Letters on page 21 has Geoffrey Moorhouse’s account of a visit from Janet Frame, and John Crace’s Digested Classic is Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness”. How good is all that? Well I enjoyed it, anyway. Worth the £1.50 just for the Review, I reckon.
Wednesday, 2 July 2008
New Ministers - Instructions for Use
Congratulations on choosing a new Anglican minister. Your new minister is designed to give you many years of trouble-free service. To get the most from your minister, please follow these simple instructions:
Allow your minister to get started gradually in the morning, with several cups of tea and a chance to watch breakfast TV, or listen to Classic FM, Radio 1, or Radio 4, according to age and model.
Your minister will perform best in warm sunny conditions, with a temperature of between 22 and 27 degrees centigrade. The minister can operate outside these temperatures, however, as low as -10c, and as high as 40c. Pouring rain, howling wind and blizzards of snow will not usually prevent your minister from operating but you may find that performance levels will drop in adverse conditions. Lower your expectations accordingly. There may also be some deterioration in the condition of the bodywork. Protect delicate exposed parts.
Your minister needs a warm, dry, secure environment in which to live, with plenty of fresh water, clean bedding and a shower that actually works. A telephone answering machine and a decent computer provided for use are not luxuries. Many ministers work best with a degree of privacy, so that their word-processing and reasoning functions are not interrupted or impaired. If it is necessary for parishioners to enter your minister’s living space, they should know when it is time to leave.
You should not operate your minister for more than two sessions per day, and no more than four hours in a session. If you find it essential to run your minister for longer periods than this, make sure that your minister is fully recharged before you re-commence operation. Failure to follow this instruction will invalidate the warranty.
Daily and weekly maintenance should include: three meals a day, eight hours sleep a day, and twenty fours break from duty each week, to include two evenings (yes, two).
Top up your minister’s reservoir of self-esteem with regular praise. Check your minister’s levels of confidence with encouragement and positive feedback.
Negative criticism and excessive or competing time demands could damage your minister’s delicate operating systems.
Despite anything you may have heard, ministers do not generally appreciate being called after 10pm on weekdays or during the snooker on Sunday afternoons to be asked questions that can easily be answered by referring to the parish magazine or website.
Prolonged use of your minister for boring or repetitive tasks that could be done by other means will lead to excessive wear on the mechanisms, and may mean that some parts, or even the whole minister, have to be replaced earlier than the recommended intervals.
If your minister does not seem to be performing as expected, stop operation immediately and go through the above checks carefully. Your minister should respond to talking through the situation, ideally with someone other than members of your church. Please note that kicking, thumping or shouting at your minister is unlikely to solve the problem and will invalidate your warranty.
An annual 12,000 mile service of forty-eight hours complete break from duties, with peace and quiet away from the area of operation is recommended.
Failure to follow these instructions could lead to reduced performance, inefficiency, and may eventually lead to costly breakdowns.
We want you to get the most from your minister. A lot of time and money has been expended in research, development and training. Do not waste this by misuse. Any suggestions on how we can improve training and development will be appreciated.
Allow your minister to get started gradually in the morning, with several cups of tea and a chance to watch breakfast TV, or listen to Classic FM, Radio 1, or Radio 4, according to age and model.
Your minister will perform best in warm sunny conditions, with a temperature of between 22 and 27 degrees centigrade. The minister can operate outside these temperatures, however, as low as -10c, and as high as 40c. Pouring rain, howling wind and blizzards of snow will not usually prevent your minister from operating but you may find that performance levels will drop in adverse conditions. Lower your expectations accordingly. There may also be some deterioration in the condition of the bodywork. Protect delicate exposed parts.
Your minister needs a warm, dry, secure environment in which to live, with plenty of fresh water, clean bedding and a shower that actually works. A telephone answering machine and a decent computer provided for use are not luxuries. Many ministers work best with a degree of privacy, so that their word-processing and reasoning functions are not interrupted or impaired. If it is necessary for parishioners to enter your minister’s living space, they should know when it is time to leave.
You should not operate your minister for more than two sessions per day, and no more than four hours in a session. If you find it essential to run your minister for longer periods than this, make sure that your minister is fully recharged before you re-commence operation. Failure to follow this instruction will invalidate the warranty.
Daily and weekly maintenance should include: three meals a day, eight hours sleep a day, and twenty fours break from duty each week, to include two evenings (yes, two).
Top up your minister’s reservoir of self-esteem with regular praise. Check your minister’s levels of confidence with encouragement and positive feedback.
Negative criticism and excessive or competing time demands could damage your minister’s delicate operating systems.
Despite anything you may have heard, ministers do not generally appreciate being called after 10pm on weekdays or during the snooker on Sunday afternoons to be asked questions that can easily be answered by referring to the parish magazine or website.
Prolonged use of your minister for boring or repetitive tasks that could be done by other means will lead to excessive wear on the mechanisms, and may mean that some parts, or even the whole minister, have to be replaced earlier than the recommended intervals.
If your minister does not seem to be performing as expected, stop operation immediately and go through the above checks carefully. Your minister should respond to talking through the situation, ideally with someone other than members of your church. Please note that kicking, thumping or shouting at your minister is unlikely to solve the problem and will invalidate your warranty.
An annual 12,000 mile service of forty-eight hours complete break from duties, with peace and quiet away from the area of operation is recommended.
Failure to follow these instructions could lead to reduced performance, inefficiency, and may eventually lead to costly breakdowns.
We want you to get the most from your minister. A lot of time and money has been expended in research, development and training. Do not waste this by misuse. Any suggestions on how we can improve training and development will be appreciated.
Ordination goes ahead
The journey to the ordination from one side of England to the other was eventful, enjoyable, entertaining. It involved four cars, three trains, two narrowboats and an imported Brazilian VW “Big Bay” campervan. Excellent! Just the sort of journey I like. It took two and half days, and I had the chance for a quick looks around Worcester, Birmingham, Ely and Cambridge on the way.
Despite rifts, schisms and turmoil across the worldwide Anglican communion, the Third Little Maid was canonically ordained to general acclaim. The service passed off peacefully, even though several vertically challenged people were among the candidates. It was feared that those who are opposed to the ordination of small people may stage some kind of protest. Many scholars have pointed out that there are no theological objections to the less-tall becoming priests, and that even the Apostle Paul was “probably quite short”. Neither the Archbishop of Canterbury’s office nor GAFCON has made a comment so far. Even though the candidates were wearing restrained earrings and sensible shoes, the fact that one lady of reduced stature took a prominent role in the service will no doubt be seen as a provocative act. We await developments. (By the way: note to the Archbishop of Canterbury: GAFCON - Gaff – a mistake. Con – someone’s trying to get one over on you).
Meanwhile, away from the controversy, much fun and merriment was had by family and friends in an obscure corner of Suffolk. Wine was drunk, food was consumed, delightful music played, and a game of “Apples to Apples” enjoyed by the young people. And those who find that they have become old codgers passed the time wondering where the years went.
Despite rifts, schisms and turmoil across the worldwide Anglican communion, the Third Little Maid was canonically ordained to general acclaim. The service passed off peacefully, even though several vertically challenged people were among the candidates. It was feared that those who are opposed to the ordination of small people may stage some kind of protest. Many scholars have pointed out that there are no theological objections to the less-tall becoming priests, and that even the Apostle Paul was “probably quite short”. Neither the Archbishop of Canterbury’s office nor GAFCON has made a comment so far. Even though the candidates were wearing restrained earrings and sensible shoes, the fact that one lady of reduced stature took a prominent role in the service will no doubt be seen as a provocative act. We await developments. (By the way: note to the Archbishop of Canterbury: GAFCON - Gaff – a mistake. Con – someone’s trying to get one over on you).
Meanwhile, away from the controversy, much fun and merriment was had by family and friends in an obscure corner of Suffolk. Wine was drunk, food was consumed, delightful music played, and a game of “Apples to Apples” enjoyed by the young people. And those who find that they have become old codgers passed the time wondering where the years went.
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