On Retreat or On the Run? 2

I went to see an elderly man to arrange his wife’s funeral, and told him that I would be taking a few days on retreat shortly. “What’s that?” he said. He had never heard of such a thing. Many people haven’t. The retreat movement is very widespread now, and yet there are many people who have never come across the idea of a few days away, in a religious community, or some quiet spot, either alone, or with others, sometimes in silence, sometimes with a conductor who gives talks and guidance. Even after the Extreme Pilgrim, and Finding Sanctuary and other recent TV programmes, there are people who have never heard of such a thing. They are not against the idea or puzzled by it; they don’t think of it as just another holiday (which many church people do, if they are honest); they’ve just never come across it before.

I am returning to Sheldon, a place I have stayed three times before. In fact, I think it’s the only retreat centre I’ve ever stayed at more than once, and we have a good relationship these days. The accommodation is very good, some say the best in the country. There’s nothing that says you must suffer on retreat, only that you use the time effectively in order to clear your mind of the clutter of everyday work and life, and get down to considering what is really important.

I am also on the run, because I really can’t face another diocesan conference. In the old days these were known as “clergy conferences”, because they were the only people who went, because there were few other types of minister in the Church of England, and most lay ministers worked and wouldn’t be able to come. Clergy were also all male, of course, so you had the prospect of being shut up with three hundred vicars in black suits in the Metropole Hotel in Blackpool or the Swanwick Conference Centre in Derbyshire. It could be pretty appalling, I can tell you. Things have changed; more lay people, more colour, but essentially the same idea. The Lambeth Conference only happens every ten years, and only bishops and bishop’s wives go (the poor dears have to accessorise to look good alongside purple) but the pattern is much the same.

In Myers Briggs terms, it’s an interesting phenomenon. Most of the sessions are big picture themes – Where will be in 2015? – that sort of thing; the worship is varied, but always on the creative and unusual side. Lots of touchy-feely stuff. Workshops where you can try out new ideas. Great, but the appeal will always be primarily to the NF types, of whom there are many in today’s ministry. Poor SJs like me are left saying Yes, but you dreamt this dream three years ago, we still haven’t identified the first steps and the sequence needed before we can make it a reality and now you’re off on further flights of speculation? Anyway, I’ve probably been to nine or ten of these over the years, in different dioceses and venues. I think it’s time I left them to it.